Love Me Doo Bee Doo.

I love you hopelessly, I love you optimistically.
I love you all crying and bleak.
I love you happy and dizzy.
I love you in the dark, in the sunshine.
I love you beautiful/Dangerous.


I hate everything that happened before. And I think you love it.

Kindlehappy

I want to burn away.

Lie myself down and just burn away.

Feel my ends curl up.

Feel the heat spread over everything.

Lie on the edge of an impossible dream

And burn away.

Let the fire burn away my heart and my mind, full of you.

True Lies

Does Global Warming exist?

Is the pope catholic?
Does Jake Gyllenhaal look hot in Prince of Persia?
Did The Practice lie to all of us about the existence of good looking male lawyers?
Am I scared of tsunamis?
Are lizards systematically precision-falling on me lately?
Does it still hurt a little, if I really, really think back about it?

Its almost 50 degress in Delhi. What. The. Fuck.

Yes, it exists assholes. You come live here and see.

Muse

Bring out your knives, sharpened and gleaming
Your pillars of love, bright and beaming
Don't compare to the dusk, that descends on her brow
And all your words are dust, ink dry and cracking now.

A million candles that light up the sky,
Outdone by the dazzling dawn in her eye.
And all those melodies you laid at her feet,
Long since played out their last lonely beat.

And so your dreams all come to this,
Written caresses your hands didn't risk.
So I don't really care if its all been a lie
But O, how I wish your muse had been I

Waiting in line for a Geranium Kiss

I once wrote of faeries
who skimmed the dewdrops
of my morning window
But the Queen she's unfulfilled on her gilded throne now.

And you don't stop
for the pieces you once crushed underneath your feet
rearrange your life now, and walk straight ahead
leave the jesters to languish behind in your bed.

But its me that's still standing
in my fixed spot in the crowd
thinking about what my statue is doing
on that pedestal in your head.

And maybe, the Queen and I, we're just the same
two empty-headed figurines
in a mind that begs dreams of urchins.

There must be someway out of here.

I've realised that I use rhyme to simplify my lifeand break up time.To parcel out my laughs and tears. It works a while and them seems empty. As if reducing everything to little pieces can somehow trivialise what I feel. So that I'm not so scared when I stop and think.


So when everything seems just right,

but still I lie awake at night.

Wondering if I'll let it go

when all the world is quiet and slow.

Outside the earth moves ever on,

night gives way to breaking dawn.

And I wonder will I ever be free

of these swaying thoughts of you and me?

So I guess this is my symphony

I'm still running apparent-ly.

So don't ever leave my darling sweet.

Without you life'd be incomplete.

Poste scripte

Tired of talking on the phone
tired of drinking tea alone

tired of wondering what I've done
tired of never being the one

tired of thinking about whether you care
or just how long you're going to be there

tired of trying to be what you need
i just cant do it, i will concede

So my dear friend,
how hard can this be?
I give up,
you can be free.

Its just that I'm tired of everything you see?
so very tired of you and me.

*A complete rip off from Meenakshi*

Buckets of Rain

Is This Necessary, Really?

Russian Roulette

A change in the weather, a cloudy day
Was all I ever gave away.
Anyway we only played for small change.

A killer smile, was all it took
Lord himself couldn't pass up that look.
Anyway you only smiled like that once.

Walk with me, was all you'd say
Like I could have turned away.
Anyway it was never about me.

So we're standing on the railway line
You'll go your way and I'll go mine.
Mostly, anyway.

And when this game is played right through
And there's nothing left for me and you
I'll look at you and then I'll say,
Should have saved your poker face for another day.

Heartbeats

Tonight I will paint my masterpiece
and rival the night's canvas.

Tonight I will feel the emptiness of ghosts
and find a forgetful redemption.

Tonight I will walk into forever
and play your symphony in my head.

Tonight I listen to heartbeats
and wish your face away.

Space In Between

Too much distance
Sigh
To blow up and start again?
I don't know.
I half want to.

Glass Slipper Valentine

If I cut my heart
into pieces ten,
The biggest one
would be yours then.

I'd give it to you
in a box of lace,
And watch the smile
light up your face.

And I'd be happy
as can be,
To know you had
a piece of me.

A little blood
I'd spill for thee,
To give you all,
that you gave me.

Ennui

You have my whole universe in a little box in your pocket.
And I don't even want it back.
What a pathetic loser I am.

Freedom Dreams

I sit on the edge of a pier, next to a boy with an old face. The sun is a violent pink cirlce, firing its last rays into the universe of blue sky and blue sea, like a lone warrior, surrounded by his enemies, casting his last vestiges of strength into battle. We look out onto the sea, and I feel scared like I always do when I look at the sea, like if I let my guard down, its just going to swallow me up, strangle me till my lungs burst and I die screaming wordless screams under the water... The boy holds my hand, and his tired eyes look at my face with a resignation tinged with tenderness. We are friends, I know we are, but I know he occassionally grows weary of me, of my ignorance, of the sheer folly of my youth, of who I am.
I do nothing but grip his fingers.
Someone on the beach has a radio turned up high, and its music dances around in my head, soothes the atmosphere, makes me sit back and enjoy the melody. We feel no need for conversation now that the music has taken the place of words, no need to communicate, except to wordlessly tell each other that we sit side by side for a reason.
The music takes my mind to thoughts other than of the here and now, I look at who I am and where I am, I think of where I want to be.Where do I want to be? How many times in my life have I wondered?
I can't swim. My companion speaks for the first time betraying that the music set off a train of thoughts in his head that were completely different from mine.
Swimming's the only thing I'm good at, I reply.
We relapse into silence. I look at his face, study the lines around his eyes, the worry etched into every crease of his forehead. He's too young for this, he's too good for this. I wish I could free him, I wish he could learn to be happy. All I have to offer is my company. My silent company, since I can think of no words. And maybe this is a time to not say a thing.
In attempting to liberate those that you love, in attempting to aid them in finding their salvation, are you just tying yourself up in them? Giving them and you one more thing to be bound to? Should you just sit back and let them be alone?Can you bear to see that?
As I stare at him, I wonder how much of my concern is concern for him, and how much is actually my own depserate need to be with him.I never tie people down, atleast I try my best not to. It shouldn't be a net between people, it should be two threads tied together, that can be untied and retied at will.
The wind picks up suddenly and the sea that licks the bottom of my toes turns cooler. The sweat of the day drips away down my spine and slowly, the phantom of the night spreads his cloak over the sky. A thousand words form on my parched lips, words of friendship, words of love, words of reassurance and questioning, never daring to say, never daring to ask for the pleasure of his company again, and they die before I can get them out.
How can I want to be both free and caged at the same time, so badly?
How true is any freedom that I may aspire towards, if at the back of my mind the thought of being tied down still appeals to me somwhere? I cower behind my mask, I am my own phantom as I wallow in the cellars of my despair, never believing that anything is worth being tied down to, never thinking for one minute that someone won't kick me into the street the moment I fold my wings.
I smile at the boy sitting next to me, he smiles back, and suddenly we're both laughing, we're not sure why, but everything seems so ridiculously funny. How can we be anything but happy, when we sit together on a pier, watching the sunset, untouched by the road that screams like a dying bird behind us? We are free when we are together, they dont hurt us because they don't matter.
I lean forward and kiss him gently. He smiles at me sweetly, the smile lifts some of the sadness from his eyes.I jump into the water and beckon him to join me, even though I know he doesn't swim.
This is freedom. We are friends, nothing more and nothing less. We love each other as much as we love ourselves. We do not dare long for each other because in the longing we are not free. In desire there is despair. We dare not go there, for where we are is perfect, where we are is where I want to be.
But only for the moment and for the moment alone.