To be on your own? Direction unknown?Like a Rollin Stone.
Thats what I feel like.
Except for the fact that I know which direction I WANT to be rolling in. Dangnabbit mounds of grass! Billions of Blue Blistering Barnacles!Oh well...I'll get there...I know I will...Its one of those things that you just know will happen, or that I want to happen so badly that somehow it just WILL happen.
Like getting into Law school...I knew I would, I just didnt see any other alternative to the life I'd planned out in my head...Sometimes life doesnt take you where you're supposed to go, and the plan DOESNt go according to plan, but sometimes..i just HAS to, so it does.
Or atleast thats the reassurance I give myself.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Complicated
Wow....its been a phenomenally long time since I last felt the need to post something here....Can be attributed to sheer laziness, I think.Actually, I did write something in the middle and then I never put it up...or something like that...anyway, never mind, who cares...Now that I'm here, I shall write for a a while...
One thing I've come to understand about myself, is that I HATE complications...life should just be plain and simple, words should just be easy to understand, speech shouldnt sound like a thesaurus and for god's sake idea's shouldnt be over complicated.
I know that I'm a big hypocrite in this respect because when I right, it usually ends up sounding much more complicated than I ever intended..but then again, its my blog, I'll do what I want....Heh heh...I love this thing.
I wonder why I stopped writing in it.
Another thing I've realised about myself is that essentially, I'm a doormat...Its a very starnge reality to face, and not very easy to deal with...I let people just walk all over me, wipe their muddy ideas on my face, and rub their bad moods on my body....I dont know WHY I let it happen, but I just do.And then when I suddenly realuse what I'm doing, I've kept so much of it bottled up, that some not so big thing someone does will cause me to just blow up and yell at them for no reason....and then ofcourse I feel terrible about it, and about myself.....sigh....life is so muddled.
I wonder why contentment is so hard to get.Why is it that people spend so much of their time desiring one thing, and then when they get it, it no longer pleases them, or if it does, then something else starts to bug them?Why?Why does it have to be like that?Why can't everyone just be happy all the time?
Why cant people just get whatever they ask for, and why do we have to constantly depend on other people to make us feel good?What is that man?
I never used to be like that...I used to get along just fine, but these days I find myself just clinging to people around me for reassurance, for comfort, for company...and its not really a good thing.
I hate it, and I hate who I've become...and thats a sad reality to face....Oh well, things could be a lot worse I guess.I shall stop complaining now.
One thing I've come to understand about myself, is that I HATE complications...life should just be plain and simple, words should just be easy to understand, speech shouldnt sound like a thesaurus and for god's sake idea's shouldnt be over complicated.
I know that I'm a big hypocrite in this respect because when I right, it usually ends up sounding much more complicated than I ever intended..but then again, its my blog, I'll do what I want....Heh heh...I love this thing.
I wonder why I stopped writing in it.
Another thing I've realised about myself is that essentially, I'm a doormat...Its a very starnge reality to face, and not very easy to deal with...I let people just walk all over me, wipe their muddy ideas on my face, and rub their bad moods on my body....I dont know WHY I let it happen, but I just do.And then when I suddenly realuse what I'm doing, I've kept so much of it bottled up, that some not so big thing someone does will cause me to just blow up and yell at them for no reason....and then ofcourse I feel terrible about it, and about myself.....sigh....life is so muddled.
I wonder why contentment is so hard to get.Why is it that people spend so much of their time desiring one thing, and then when they get it, it no longer pleases them, or if it does, then something else starts to bug them?Why?Why does it have to be like that?Why can't everyone just be happy all the time?
Why cant people just get whatever they ask for, and why do we have to constantly depend on other people to make us feel good?What is that man?
I never used to be like that...I used to get along just fine, but these days I find myself just clinging to people around me for reassurance, for comfort, for company...and its not really a good thing.
I hate it, and I hate who I've become...and thats a sad reality to face....Oh well, things could be a lot worse I guess.I shall stop complaining now.
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