I chose to go down this road and everything it means.
I am happy. Yes I am.
But behind every grassy field, there is a mountain lounging in the blue misty distance.
Reminding me that you are what I left behind.
And I guess its ok. I mean...I mean yes, it is ok.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I'm happy to be angry.
Lately I've been feeling a strange contentment. Strange because, its not the usual over the top annoyingly smug sort of contentment that usually only lasts a week till you have to pay your rent. Its actually this sort of loch ness monster sort of peacefulness lurking quietly in the shadows of my life, just minding its own business.
Weird.
Weird.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Home
I have never wanted to be in a particular place at a given time as badly as I do right now.
I love the rain swept terrace and midnight storms.
I love lolla. I love talking about PABs.
I love playing football, I love watching our football players.
I love thinking about what was, and what could have been.
I love wednesday Biryani.
I love it when Shankar is around.
I love mellow evenings and vela bahaar.
I love the maggie that Blackie cooks for me.
I love chatting with the person next door to me through the wall.
I love sneaking into BH1.
I love trying to look nice in the morning.
I love not knowing what is going to happen next.
I love trying and failing to run to Shameerpet every day.
I love water fights and Apdi Podu.
I love stockpiling during prohibition.
I love the fights, the accusations and the controversies.
I love not caring, while acknowledging how much I love and need it all.
I love my life. And I will not stop being grateful. (and I am counting the days till Sunday)
Boom De Yada!
I love the rain swept terrace and midnight storms.
I love lolla. I love talking about PABs.
I love playing football, I love watching our football players.
I love thinking about what was, and what could have been.
I love wednesday Biryani.
I love it when Shankar is around.
I love mellow evenings and vela bahaar.
I love the maggie that Blackie cooks for me.
I love chatting with the person next door to me through the wall.
I love sneaking into BH1.
I love trying to look nice in the morning.
I love not knowing what is going to happen next.
I love trying and failing to run to Shameerpet every day.
I love water fights and Apdi Podu.
I love stockpiling during prohibition.
I love the fights, the accusations and the controversies.
I love not caring, while acknowledging how much I love and need it all.
I love my life. And I will not stop being grateful. (and I am counting the days till Sunday)
Boom De Yada!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
25 Things About Me
1. I am a terribly insecure person.I know the kind of person I want to be, but constantly see myself falling short.
2. I am very very scared of being alone, but have written off humanity as being able to provide an antidote.
3. I really hate toe nails that are even slightly long, and trim mine once a week.
4. All my best friends are people who never judge me, or if they do, they do it quietly and where I can't hear them and I really appreciate it.
5. I firmly believe in second chances and can be very smug about how forgiving I am.
6. When I was a kid my parents lied to me and told me that the only channel on TV was public broadcasting and if I pressed any other button on the remote the TV would explode.
7. I thought my father was actually a Magician till I was 8.
8. I will always love my grandfather, wish he was around and feel cheated by the fact that he's not.
9. I never take anyone else's opinion on music and believe that my judgement is perfect.
10. I've always wished I could dance and be athletic.
11. I hate it when people interrupt me when I'm reading anything. Even a note.
12. I worry that I will never have a flat stomach.
13. I wish that my hair would set itself automatically every day, but because it doesn't I choose not to comb it.
14. I was easily bullied as a child and am still proud that I have grown out of it.
15. I can't walk straight, I always bang into whoever is walking beside me.
16. I do not like most fruits, because I think they're undependable and might always be squishy and disgusting on the inside. I also do not like ice cream.
17. I use clothes and food to get myself out of a bad mood all the time.
18. I love to swim but am very very scared of the sea and big waves or fast moving water.
19. I detest being told what to do and nine times out of ten will do the exact opposite just because someone has told me to do something.
20. I really like people. It gives me a kick to get to know new people, especially those whom I think I will have nothing in common with or whom most people do not seem to be fond of.
21. I am very proud of my sense of humour despite being repeatedly told that I do not have one.
22. I over analyze situations.
23. I always wish I had a sibling because siblings always have this cool 'family secrets' and 'inside jokes' thing happening that I wish I could have.
24. My spellings are really horrendous. I could not spell medieval till I was 18.
25. I once got into a bad accident, and was most worried that above all things I might die a virgin.
2. I am very very scared of being alone, but have written off humanity as being able to provide an antidote.
3. I really hate toe nails that are even slightly long, and trim mine once a week.
4. All my best friends are people who never judge me, or if they do, they do it quietly and where I can't hear them and I really appreciate it.
5. I firmly believe in second chances and can be very smug about how forgiving I am.
6. When I was a kid my parents lied to me and told me that the only channel on TV was public broadcasting and if I pressed any other button on the remote the TV would explode.
7. I thought my father was actually a Magician till I was 8.
8. I will always love my grandfather, wish he was around and feel cheated by the fact that he's not.
9. I never take anyone else's opinion on music and believe that my judgement is perfect.
10. I've always wished I could dance and be athletic.
11. I hate it when people interrupt me when I'm reading anything. Even a note.
12. I worry that I will never have a flat stomach.
13. I wish that my hair would set itself automatically every day, but because it doesn't I choose not to comb it.
14. I was easily bullied as a child and am still proud that I have grown out of it.
15. I can't walk straight, I always bang into whoever is walking beside me.
16. I do not like most fruits, because I think they're undependable and might always be squishy and disgusting on the inside. I also do not like ice cream.
17. I use clothes and food to get myself out of a bad mood all the time.
18. I love to swim but am very very scared of the sea and big waves or fast moving water.
19. I detest being told what to do and nine times out of ten will do the exact opposite just because someone has told me to do something.
20. I really like people. It gives me a kick to get to know new people, especially those whom I think I will have nothing in common with or whom most people do not seem to be fond of.
21. I am very proud of my sense of humour despite being repeatedly told that I do not have one.
22. I over analyze situations.
23. I always wish I had a sibling because siblings always have this cool 'family secrets' and 'inside jokes' thing happening that I wish I could have.
24. My spellings are really horrendous. I could not spell medieval till I was 18.
25. I once got into a bad accident, and was most worried that above all things I might die a virgin.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
On a cold and foggy morning,
The man Jack makes his fern tapestries on the glass
Swirling leaves do a flamenco, carry my head with them.
And I wonder why I'm even awake.
I look out on a cold and foggy morning,
And some desire causes me to reach for this device,
to maybe write a symphony to this beautiful painting, framed so nicely by my window.
But there are no words really, just a vague feeling that there is something to say.
The man Jack makes his fern tapestries on the glass
Swirling leaves do a flamenco, carry my head with them.
And I wonder why I'm even awake.
I look out on a cold and foggy morning,
And some desire causes me to reach for this device,
to maybe write a symphony to this beautiful painting, framed so nicely by my window.
But there are no words really, just a vague feeling that there is something to say.
Friday, January 23, 2009
This Old Song
When I turn back the pages on this crazy dream
I see faces and smiles and tears wrapped in a velvet curtain of me.
I remember the rainy days and the sunshine, I remember the big storm and the single candle that burned through it all.
I remember our shadows playing on the road, I remember fields of stars that stretched to forever.
On a lonely night I remember that you're gone, and that there's emptiness in all that was familiar.
I see clenched fists and diamond lakes and tapestries in the sky, wrapped in a curling smoke of me.
And when I walk away, I'll know it all came down to me. I'll take you with me where ever I go, I promise.
But nothing will ever be as beautiful.
I see faces and smiles and tears wrapped in a velvet curtain of me.
I remember the rainy days and the sunshine, I remember the big storm and the single candle that burned through it all.
I remember our shadows playing on the road, I remember fields of stars that stretched to forever.
On a lonely night I remember that you're gone, and that there's emptiness in all that was familiar.
I see clenched fists and diamond lakes and tapestries in the sky, wrapped in a curling smoke of me.
And when I walk away, I'll know it all came down to me. I'll take you with me where ever I go, I promise.
But nothing will ever be as beautiful.
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