Today has been a bad day. Everyone in India knows why.
In the past whenever there has been cause for many people to die or suffer, I have watched the news and thought to myself, 'Oh fuck. That's really bad.' , and I have gone to bed that night feeling extremely self righteous.
'I'm not one of those people who thinks that they should all be murdered. I know that most of them have been indoctrinated as children, that many of them have seen horrible violence perpetrated against their families.'
I'm a real liberal, I tell myself. I believe in the goodness of humanity.
Last night when I heard about the attack on Leopold, (not just the Taj or the Trident or Nariman Point, or the many many other places) my mind raced to the times I have been there. To my friends and family who are all in Bombay right now. To the fact that it is so extremely probable that they or someone like me could have been there yesterday.
And I knew hatred. 'How dare they creep towards my loved ones? How dare they harm anybody that I care about?'
I'm a real hypocrite. A number one asshole.
I can only hold my head in shame. For the country that we have created, for the hurt that we have wrought upon ourselves. For every person who wants revenge, for every person that is taught to hate. For the untruth deep in my own heart and the deceit in my soul.
There is nothing to do but cry.
I hope everyone is safe tonight.