Cry, My Beloved Country, Cry.

Today has been a bad day. Everyone in India knows why.
In the past whenever there has been cause for many people to die or suffer, I have watched the news and thought to myself, 'Oh fuck. That's really bad.' , and I have gone to bed that night feeling extremely self righteous.

'I'm not one of those people who thinks that they should all be murdered. I know that most of them have been indoctrinated as children, that many of them have seen horrible violence perpetrated against their families.'

I'm a real liberal, I tell myself. I believe in the goodness of humanity.

Last night when I heard about the attack on Leopold, (not just the Taj or the Trident or Nariman Point, or the many many other places) my mind raced to the times I have been there. To my friends and family who are all in Bombay right now. To the fact that it is so extremely probable that they or someone like me could have been there yesterday.

And I knew hatred. 'How dare they creep towards my loved ones? How dare they harm anybody that I care about?'

I'm a real hypocrite. A number one asshole.

I can only hold my head in shame. For the country that we have created, for the hurt that we have wrought upon ourselves. For every person who wants revenge, for every person that is taught to hate. For the untruth deep in my own heart and the deceit in my soul.

There is nothing to do but cry.

I hope everyone is safe tonight.

when the sky is dark and blue
I hum a song for me and you
we can wait it out together.

but no matter the ice that falls from the sky
no one could feel as cold as I

Russian Roulette

A change in the weather, a cloudy day
Was all I ever gave away.
Anyway we only played for small change.

A killer smile, was all it took
Lord himself couldn't pass up that look.
Anyway you only smiled like that once.

Walk with me, was all you'd say
Like I could have turned away.
Anyway it was never about me.

So we're standing on the railway line
You'll go your way and I'll go mine.
Mostly, anyway.

And when this game is played right through
And there's nothing left for me and you
I'll look at you and then I'll say,
Should have saved your poker face for another day.

The Third Verse to a Better Song

The hills reflect a dappled moon, the band strikes up a forgetful tune.
And I blow a kiss from me to you, a deeper shade of another blue.
Melody to silence a scream, a song to quench an impossible dream.

So I sing myself a lullaby
I really have no tears to cry.

Heartbeats

Tonight I will paint my masterpiece
and rival the night's canvas.

Tonight I will feel the emptiness of ghosts
and find a forgetful redemption.

Tonight I will walk into forever
and play your symphony in my head.

Tonight I listen to heartbeats
and wish your face away.

The Greatest Gift

Immerse your mind in a sea of time,
Pick the words out from the rhyme
Paint a picture of the past.

Grasp at tiny flecks of sand,
Filtering formless down your hand
Hope for stasis.

Watch the smoke curl through your hair,
Fleeting poetry in the air
Wish away the day.

But I have loved all this random play.
Finding you, losing my way.
I sit and watch the clouds go by.
I'm still waiting for that gig in the sky.

Shtuck

contrary to popular opinion.
its actually worse to not feel at all.

A whine.

I can't. I can't do this anymore.
I won't.
This can't be only way to feel.
This can't. This can't be the only way.
Help me.
Someone.
You're out there, I know it.
Just show me the road.
And I will fucking walk it. I will fucking walk it the whole way.
I will never look back.
My head will look straight and my body will obey.
This will not happen to me again.

On My Mind

Sometimes I feel super.
Sometimes I feel like everything that happens to me is poetry.
Sometimes I feel like no matter what someone far out on the surface is getting hurt, not me.
Sometimes things are so perfect that even if a speck of dust shifted it wouldn't be as great.
Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe any more, and I have to run.
Sometimes I talk too much and I feel full and surrounded.
Sometimes loneliness comes crawling to me in the dark and emptiness fills everything.

But I think that if I actually found my way I'd cry myself to death.

So I'm glad I have you.

I Shall Be Released

There's only so much a song can do
But I know that there's something wrong
When a song is the only thing that does it for me.

Any day now, any day now...

Simple Rules

I wish I could unscrew the top of my head and paint my thoughts across the wall.
And then maybe I could change the shape of things in my mind.
I wish I could drip a little blood out
And the maybe I could change the things my heart beats for.
It should be that easy.

Soliloquy

A dark night
A starry field
And me chasing your silhouette,
Not wanting to think about tomorrow.

A sunset strip
A rock to sit for a spell
And us wasting our lives away,
Waiting for it to rain.

An old tune
An eternity of sky
And you being with me
Not wanting to leave.